Hi Kitten,

How are you? How has your week been? Here are some things I’ve been upto…

Self Work | Notes and a Challenge for you

The shift in seasons has brought an opening in my self work, suddenly I am able to see myself from a third party perspective

Here is what I get from the view: Self work is not just understanding your past and what it means. Self work is not just understanding the choices you made and why.It’s also understanding the present and the choices you are making now. Why are you making them? How those choices are going to effect you?  With this comes action, purposefulness.

Challenge: What are the choices you are currently making? What are your goals based on naming those choices?

Juicy Words and Stories

Check out the piece I wrote for The Frisky about my first girlfriend: Soon, Xea and I were chatting. Then, sending letters and mix CDs with original art. I remember her voice on the phone, ragged, her laugh high and clear. She told me how she kept her hair up with Elmer’s glue and about ‘77 punk. I felt warm just listening, absentmindedly tracing the patterns on my bedspread with my fingers.

This week my Johns project debuted at Sexis. I interviewed over 20 men who buy sex, the goal being to remove the shadows from our image of “the john”.  The first installment tackles the question: who are these men that buy sex and why do they do it? What would you like to see from future installments? The first time Matthew had sex was on his 18th birthday. “A gay friend of mine found out that I had never been laid — he was kind of appalled” he explains. So, on Matthew’s birthday, his present was a session with a sex worker. He was ecstatic. “I kind of pleasantly went off the deep-end. She was just perfect. I felt like I was going to float off my chair.” Up until this moment, Matthew had believed sex just wasn’t going to happen for him. He was born with cerebral palsy and when he hit puberty, he remembers his grandmother warning, “love is something you just won’t experience.”

A light & fun read–my piece on The History of Lavender marriages for The Frisky: Celebs today know the headline power of marrying other celebrities. But this practice started with the anti-gay Hayes code in the 30′s. Under the code, homosexual activity became grounds for blacklisting actors. “Hollywood tolerated sexually adventurous lifestyles, but most of the rest of the country did not. The studios had to bow to the consumer. If you wanted to work, you did what they said” explains Laurie Jacobson, author of Dishing Hollywood. The Hollywood lavender marriage, a pairing for convenience, magazine covers and maintaining closets, was born

Sex Homework | The Best kind of Homework

This week I wrote a blogpost called “How to be as Horny as a Guy” full of sexy tips and to expound upon that I’ve got some weekend sex homework for you!

Check out Debby Herbenick’s list of 60 things to do with a partner. Print them out, fill out separately and them come together with your lists. From here, I recommend making some “action” items, things to put on your sexual-to-do-list!

It’s meant as a profile for couples, but I think filling it out on your own could teach you a lot about your sexuality.  If you don’t want to print, try this similar online test.

Are you saying yes to the Universe?  Happy weekend!