Tag Archives: Self-Awareness

Who’s Afraid of Bisexual Men?

14th
Jun. × ’10

I’m sitting on the edge of the bed. The room is dark, filled with the sound of flesh smacking flesh and throaty “ahhhhhs.” Next to me are huddles of middle aged men, standing, pants-off, half-hard. I’m sitting upright, purse in lap feeling a bit overdressed. In front of me is a triple set of couples, [...]

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What is Sex? Your Number is Nothin’ but a Number.

16th
Apr. × ’10

I used to keep a tight mental-list of the number of people that I’d slept with. Awake at night, I’d go over that tab, searching  for faces or bodies I’d surely forgotten. It gave me some a strange comfort. Some women pride themselves on their vast shoe collections. I took delight in my veritable rainbow [...]

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Married Young

15th
Apr. × ’10

February 28, 2009, photo by Matthias St. John When I was 24 and Ned was 24, the topic of marriage began appearing before us. There, at our dinner-table somewhere between the cucumber raita and curry. Marriage, suddenly on the lips as we sat on the porch sharing a glass of wine. Everyone says “you just [...]

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Under the Influence of Ovulation or Getting an IUD

9th
Apr. × ’10

Uterus Plush by Vulva Love Lovely When I was in high-school I took free samples of the pill. And I made sure I took one everyday.  I had a friend who never seemed able to remember hers. She’d leave a whole weeks worth in the pack then spend hours throwing up, after taking them all [...]

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The Fuck-Buddy System

2nd
Apr. × ’10

photo: crystin moritz The fuck buddy system is broken. No scratch that, it never really worked to begin with. I can get behind one night stands and promiscuity, I believe in polyamory and swinging– but fuck buddies, I just can’t. I am anti fuck-buddy. I recently had a reader ask for insight on a fuck-buddy [...]

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Street Harassment: Why Ignoring it Doesn’t Work

17th
Mar. × ’10

Spring is spreading like an electric blanket over the city. This means two things: Spring vegetables are showing up at the co-op where I buy groceries and in the streets, Spring mini-skirts have too. I once heard Chicago cops have a different name for Spring, they call it “rape season.” One thing that I notice [...]

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Being the Weird Kid

30th
Dec. × ’09

I want to take you back to what might be a scary place…a place you’ve exiled in your pool of memories, a place called… grade school. I want you to let your brain flood with the images and memories of your 4th grade self. To take a moment to remember how it felt. Do you [...]

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How to Explore Crushes Outside The Relationship

10th
Dec. × ’09

When people enter into a monogamous relationship, it is often with the idea that they have found “the one.” They are  expected to no longer experience sexual infatuation with other people, just that one true-love. Yet, in the large number of healthy adults, sexual response to attractive men or women is normal.  You  might be [...]

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Do you dress for Venus or Mars?

13th
Jul. × ’09

I wore this outfit on a warm Saturday night out to WestFest, a Chicago neighborhood/music  street festival. As Ned and I walked through the crowd, peeking into vendor  stands and eating perfectly greasy vegetable samosas, he noted that more women had been checking me out than men. This led me to that much debated old [...]

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The way we Talk

19th
Jun. × ’09

As teenagers,  my friends and I had a distinct way of talking. Our daily vocabulary was peppered with specific slang, voice pitches and patterns. In high school most girl cliques had code-words and inclusive ways of talking. How you talked let people know what group you were with; like a secret language. If I were [...]

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