Photo: 2006 Rabbit
“you’re born naked and everything else you put on is drag.” – Rupaul
I recently received an e-mail asking about the idea that when a style leads to extremes it becomes unhealthy, like goth is somehow bad, like neon hair and piercings shows needing attention or low self esteem.
I think everything we do to modify or not modify our bodies creates a mask. Cutting and dying your hair is a mask just as leaving it natural and letting it grow long is a mask. Your mask sends a message to the world about you. You are not your vessel, you are the life, emotions and personalities inside of it, so it makes sense that what is going on inside you’d want to show on the out.
The message that your mask sends to the world works as a filtering system. It affects what type of people are going to approach you and how they view you.
At the age of 16, I discovered punk rock and began strongly identifying with alternative styles. By wearing studs, plaids and ripped up patches I could filter effectively; most people approaching me would have the same aesthetic and cultural interests as me. While everyone’s mask is a filter, it is more unrelenting with extreme styles like my teenage punk look. Instead of simply filtering I was sending a message to most people of stay away, but notice me. And, that is okay!
My look helped me get through my teen years. However, problems may arise when an extreme look takes over as your primary identity and this doesn’t just apply to alternative styles.
Whether you can’t stand your face without your piercings or you can’t leave the house without a full face of make-up, it is somewhat crippling. I used to bleach my hair; during those platinum years I became convinced that without my blonde hair I was ugly, I had to be blonde to be noticed and pretty.
When I began working through my history and issues, I slowly became comfortable with my natural face and body, my extreme style no longer fit. What I wear now reflects my aesthetics and interests but at the heart it’s quite emotional and personal. It all depends on what is inspiring me at the time: my moods, feelings and experiences. And it is always shifting, growing. I love that I have fashion as an outlet, with reflection it has become an enriching aspect of my life.
Your mood and look is going to change everyday, so what you are comfortable with one day you may not be the next, and that is okay. It is about being authentic. I think self reflection is key and the knowledge that how you present yourself will send a message that affects other people’s moods, imagination and how they perceive you. Rather than being boxed in extremes, I think that being a free open canvas is where it’s at.
6 Comments
this is an extremely good post, the idea that even if we’re not plastered in make up and dont have crazy hair is still some kind of mask expressing who we are in some way is really interesting. But its a valid point, i keep my hair its natural colour and natural waviness for a reason as opposed to dying it a reddish colour or something. But does calling it a mask imply we are hiding what we really are? or does what we wear really give off a signal as to who we are?
Yes, being open and free is the way to go. Most of the time, I feel I can’t connect to people because I don’t fit into a certain mold they think I should fit into. I went through a similar journey as you, and it’s empowering to realize you don’t have to keep up a certain look to communicate who you are to others. This type of mentality only comes after some deep looking into yourself, and it’s sad that some don’t reach that point.
XOXO
great post rabbit. learning to love my natural looks was a long and difficult proccess for me. the part i used to hate most was my natural red hair, and like you i bleached it platinum blonde or smothered it with pink dye. I have learned to love it though ^_^
that quote by rupaul can be found in an episode of Geraldo somewhere on youtube. its one of my favs
Rabbit, i love this post! i’m so glad we have authenticity like yours on the internetz. keep up the great work!
Brilliant post
“You are not your vessel, you are the life, emotions and personalities inside of it”
Useful to see that written down!
Candice,
To answer your question I think calling it a mask goes hand in hand with the idea that you are not your vessel, so with that life inside your vessel, you create something on the outside that feels right to you. I think what we wear absolutely gives off signals about us. I think they at least have to be a shallow part of the blink phenomenon and the idea that you know everything you need to about a person within seconds of meeting them. Those signals we send are often either excluding or welcoming. The problem with it being exclusive is that people often get filtered out for vapid reasons. It puts a new spin on getting ready in the morning that is for sure.
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