Here’s to long weekend containing another BS holiday. But I feel weird about Holidays celebrating things I don’t believe in: religion or war.  But I am firm believers in being celebratory!

So for those not into traditions based on violence, here is my own personal calender! These are holidays for atheists, anarchists or anyone who likes a good party, without the troublesome history.

Calendar Images from Meomi

January

January 1,  New Years Day:  The beginning of a new year is a great celebration of life. Buy a new journal and make a fresh entry. Make goals, not resolutions. Order out dim-sum for dinner because it is tradition and possibly because you are hung-over.

January 26, Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day: Pop.

January 22, Scientist’s Day (Francis Bacon’s Birthday): Like presidents day, but with less assholes.

February

February 2,  Philosopher’s Day (Ayn Rand’s Birthday): Celebrate philosophy by loving or hating Ayn Rand!

February 14, Valentine’s Day/Love Day: Celebrate love on this day. Eat rich foods, chocolates and get comfy with yourself or someone on the couch.

February 28,  Wedding Anniversary: Always celebrate anniversaries. Relationships are hard work and should be celebrated!

March

March 1, Beer Day: A good alternative to celebrating a murderous Christian Saint on the 17th.

March 20, First Day of Spring/Spring Equinox: This holiday is about renewal, the re-birth after winter. Start new projects and acknowledge self growth. Think about how much you have grown and also make goals for where you’d like to be in the future. Do something earthy or outdoorsy. Eat a picnic of  stuffed deviled eggs, mint chicken salad and chocolate crepes, washed down with sparkling lemonade.

March 22, Inner Child’s Day aka As young as you feel day, International Goof-off day or Spring Fairy Day: An entire day devoted to your inner child. Do whatever the kid inside of you feels like. Ideas: Have a dress up garden tea party, swing on a swing-set, build forts, have a water gun or water balloon fight, decorate your room with glow in the dark stars, wear mouse ears or a cape.

April

April 1, April Fools Day, also Creative Writing and Poetry Day: A day to play jokes/Became annoying online/Count me out of it. Two birds with one stone, a haiku about April Fool’s.

April 12, Licorice Day: Drink Sambuca and Champagne cocktails, Make a beet and fennel salad. Drink absinthe and smoke anise and rose flavored hookah. I could go on forever.

May

May 3, Architecture day: Holidays are usually pretty nature-y, but today admire the phenomenal landscapes created by fellow humans.

May 9, Peter Pan Day also  Stay up all Night day: A day to celebrate with your inner child. Build a fort, watch or read Peter Pan and eat nutella banana pancakes for dinner. This could easily turn into celebrating Stay up all Night day. For which I suggest watching movies, painting or making collages,  listening to old records and cooking breakfast at sunrise while listening to Beethoven on full blast.

May 25, Memorial Day  becomes Empathy and Justice Day: This is often a day off from work and a fantastic long weekend. Do something anti-gov during this weekend, remember the democides

May 29, Pink Flamingo Day: I’m taking this as John Waters day. Listen to old soul music, dress up as retro trailer trash or in rockabilly styles and go out to a greasy spoon diner or a soda fountain, remember to act vulgar. Then watch as many of John’s films as you can stomach.

June

June 21,  Summer Solstice: Summer party! Celebrate with bonfires,  s’more making (over the stove if you’re a city dweller) and all night dance partying. If there was ever an event to bring a vodka infused watermelon to, this is it.

June 24, Celebration of the Senses: Omg the possibilities: Perfume, fresh flowers, aromatic curries or soups. Actually, this reminds me of a game my college roommate and I would play when we were stoned. One would blindfold the other and then find items around the room to make the blind folded one sniff and guess the smell. Laundry softener, peanut butter, Skol vodka. So you could always do that…or not.

June 28, Gay Pride Day: Celebrate sexuality! Have friends over for sangria, play Spin the Bottle and watch Priscilla.

July

July 4, Independence Day/ Freedom Day: Often a day off from work and a hot long weekend. Celebrate your own personal freedom and independence. Contemplate what your freedom means to you. Traditions like watching fireworks and eating barbecue and ice cream are all dandy in my book.

July 13, Geek day: Embrace your inner nerd. Set up a nerd day with a few friends, get together with laptops or whatever you need and work on projects together. For this  I would serve tang and popcorn balls.

July 18, National Hot Dog Day: Whether it’s veggie or foie gras, I take them Chicago style, mustard no ketchup!

August

August 8, National Garage Sale Day: Wake up at the crack of dawn with the little old ladies and hit up the yard sales. Haggle.

August 10, S’mores day/ Slumber Party Day: When I was six years old s’mores were my favorite food. I could devour five in one setting. They were also a common slumber party food, so I say also make this a slumberparty day. Invite friends over, watch movies that remind you of childhood, eat s’mores and play truth or dare. Bonus points for prank calling.

Auust 18, Bad Poetry Day: Read your old notebooks…aloud…with a friend. I think a bottle of wine is in order.

September

September 7, Labor Day becomes  Courage and Integrity Day: Often a day off from work and a great long weekend. Use it to celebrate your own courage and integrity. Try meditating or taking a relaxing walk in the woods. Take some alone time to connect to the strong center inside of you.

September 22,  Autumn Equinox: Celebrate my favorite season by long walks, enjoying the weather, self reflection and maybe peanut butter cookies.

September 27, Psychologist’s Day (Albert Ellis’ Birthday): The founder of CBT is okay by me. Go to the library and get a book on psychology, look into new therapeutic practices or types of therapy that might help you in your journey towards become the best you that you can be.

October

October 1, World Vegetarian Day: Consider the animals around us, and the animals we eat. Create a vegetarian feast. Baba ghanoush, rice and lentils, potato stuffed flatbread, sauteed eggplant, crisp cooked asparagus and custard for dessert. Yum.

October 6, Mad Hatter Day: According to this website: “The nonsense we usually have to pretend is sane can be called madness for one day in the year; the superficially crazy things that really make sense can be called sane on MadHatterDay.” I’m not sure what all that means but, sure celebrate the nonsensical!

October 31, Halloween: Perhaps the most important holiday of the year Celebrate death and enjoy life with mischief and debauchery.

November

November 4, is apparently National Chicken Lady Day… Personally I’d prefer a national Buddy Coleday.

November 26, Thanksgiving: Have a feast and give thanks for relationships and bounty of the year. Hold a potluck Thanksgiving with friends or fam. Plan enough for two days of giving thanks!

December

December 5, Bathtub Party Day: The bathtub is my sanctuary, I don’t need to be told twice to celebrate baths! Take this day to enjoy a nice long bath with candles, music, a book and some tea or wine. Buy yourself a new bath product.

December 11, Rabbit’s Birthday:  Always celebrate your life on your birthday! I like to take the day to reflect on the year, read old journal entries and take extra care of myself.

December 21, Winter Solstice: Because of work schedules this is often celebrated on the 25th.

December 24, Eve of Winter Solstice Celebration: A pre-party!

December 25, Celebrate Winter Solstice: BIG party! Celebrate peace and the future. Traditionally this is a light festival, so celebrate “light” as a metaphor, whatever it means to you.

December 31, New Year’s Eve: Out with the old and in with the new. Reflect on the past year, what has changed? How have you changed? Write a final journal entry for this year. Then put together a glammy outfit, listening to all the songs you loved this year and pop champagne.