I noticed a theme going on in some of the Q’s in my inbox. Each of these questions is about porn– an uneasy-ness one feels with their  partner’s porn choices. This led me to the idea of finding common ground in fantasies and fetishes –something I think can be key in sexual relationships. Finding common ground in our lusty-likes goes a long way in building a sexual repertoire and it can also help us reconnect to our partners or re-ignite a fallen passion.

But here, I am giving each partner the benefit of the doubt–I am assuming there is nothing wrong with the porn they are are watching. Each of us might have a different reaction porn, we are all so different sexually, each carrying unique experiences that might make something we see in porn icky, or hot. Ultimately, when it comes to porn, I think you can’t know if the anyone in porn feels coersed or degraded . You can only notice what makes YOU feel uncomfortable and icky, and not watch that.

Navigating porn in relationships can be a tricky or interesting journey, and I am curious what insight or thoughts you guys have! Let’s get to the reader questions.