Part 1

Part 2

I wanted to share this set of videos, because it is one of the most exciting conversations I have come across in awhile. I’ve not seen something so beautiful and thoughtful on the topic of atheism and de-conversion in, well, maybe ever.

While other atheist memes are quick to point a finger, laughing at “silly christians” this video set manages to bring real reverence and empathy to the topic. “God” is very personal, and I think the topic deserves this level of respect.

My own experience with de-conversion is very different from the author’s. I’m not sure precisely when my own faith in christianity was lost, but it was long ago. I didn’t have to wrestle with bible verses or Jesus, but rather the concept of God and spirituality.

I do consider myself to be a very spiritual atheist, and that is because I know this feeling of “God” hasn’t gone anywhere, the answers to prayers, the guidance, feeling healed and forgiven, these are all things inside of me. They are what many psychologists would call “the self.” I was happy that the author of the video covered this, and did it so well.

God=You is something I find myself coming to time and time again, when talking with mystics or christians. I often find myself replacing  the word “God” for “my true self” in my head and it is often astounding how much more sense their point makes. Kind of like when people say “you” when they really mean “I” such as: “you go to work, you feel depressed.” When you hear someone do that, change it in your head to I, and you might be amazed at how much more true, telling and vulnerable their statement is.

God is you. It brings new meaning to Namaste: the God in me bows to the God in you.

Bottom 2: Unknown

• Blowfish podcast on sexual empathy and teaching straight people to”fuck like queers.”
• The Internal Dialogue A post about recognizing and overcoming self-attack
• Why you struggle to connect with others & how to overcome these and start connecting.
• Like me, did you always want to read Madonna’s sex book as a kid? Now you can, fully scanned and online!
• Greta Christina on the ubiquity of shaving pubic hair
• You are already whole: “Drill down, like a miner searching for gold, to the place in you that has existed prior to any learning.  You may be going to your birth, or even earlier.  What do you find?  You will see that who you are before conditioning – that is, the unconditioned you – is whole, free, light, and clear.” This is the True-Self.
• Are we Having Sex Yet? Greta asks “Does X Count as Sex? And Does it matter?
• Do you make these common mistakes when trying to switch to a more positive attitude?
• Five Emotional Vampires and how to combat them! I see some of myself and people I’ve known in here, simplified but efficient tips!

+ The best story I’ve heard in a long time:

“A little boy (maybe 5 years old) wrote to Maurice Sendak [author of ‘Where The Wild Things Are’] telling him how much he loved his books, his drawings, everything about him. As you might imagine, Sendak gets a lot of fan mail, but he was so moved by this one that he wrote the boy back and enclosed an original drawing, just for him. The boy was so overjoyed when he received the drawing that he ate it, the entire thing, every last shred of pulp and ink. His mom wrote back to the author, telling him the story. Sendak was thrilled, saying that that was the greatest compliment he had ever received.” Thanks Gala, from here

When you are part of a couple, there is one inevitable question that is going to arise: How did you two meet?

I wore this outfit last Saturday night to the Orbit Room’s 2-year-anniversary party, which also happened to be the 2-year-anniversary of when Ned and I first met.

Two years ago I was cock-tailing at this new bar when Ned confidently walked through the door. I was immediately struck by his presence and the fact that he was wearing a pocket protector in the front of his short sleeve button-up. “Oh my gosh, I want that boy” I said to my fellow waitress.

My shift wore on as I exchanged intense looks with this coiffed, lanky stranger and at the end of the night we flirtatiously settled in to have a drink together. I was smitten, I had such an incredible feeling from this guy, I was intrigued and felt excited, alive, like… myself.

He drove me home with no kisses but, exchange numbers. I flopped onto my roommates bed and and wailed, unable to sleep. This was so unlike me. Why did this feel so different? Why was I so obsessed already? I really wanted to know this person… I wanted this person in my life.

What we receive when we ask “How did you two meet”  is that natural-genius first impression the couple got of each other. This is something perhaps best described in the book, Blink by Malcolm Gladwell.

Blink is about the power of rapid cognition and first impressions, how we instantly know so much of what we need to know about a person, when first meeting them. When you ask someone how they met their partner you get to see them re-create a little bit of  that first impression that told them “this is the mate I want.”

Or maybe this is just me using some science and psychology to explain that lofty love at first sight cliche.

So now I’d like to ask you to get gushy, dear reader: How did you meet your significant other? Or if you are single, What are some couple-meeting stories that stick out in your head?

I wore this outfit on a warm Saturday night out to WestFest, a Chicago neighborhood/music  street festival. As Ned and I walked through the crowd, peeking into vendor  stands and eating perfectly greasy vegetable samosas, he noted that more women had been checking me out than men. This led me to that much debated old question: Do women dress for men or other women?

The obvious answer  is “I dress for myself.” It’s a pretty good answer because it is true; I think most of us don’t consciously think about impressing or arousing  when we choose what to wear for the day.

If there is anything I have learned from documenting what I wear on this blog it is that fashion and getting dressed can be therapeutic. I do dress for myself, to reflect and express my emotions and inner life and as an outlet.

Yet it is rare that I would get all gussied up without the intention of leaving the house. In answer to the old question, I’ve always thought that women dressing for other women made sense.  After all, aren’t women the readership of the gads of fashion and What I Wore blogs out there?

Fashion is art and it becomes like a secret language in public. You don’t have to say hello to the cool woman in the room but your outfit can.

In a New York Times article from the 1920′s on the “who do women dress for” debate, none other than Charlotte Perkins Gilman argues that women dress solely for men. She states that the clearest proof for this are prostitutes, who’s style of dressing is intended to arouse men and who in turn have been responsible for many popular fashions over time.

A recent study concluded that women “dress to impress” when they are at their most fertile times of their cycle. In the study, ovulating women tended to wear flashier or more fashionable clothing, more jewelry and show more skin.

While it may be TMI, I confess that in this What I Wore I’m about a week off from starting my period, during a fertile point in my cycle. I do think I am showing more skin/dressing a bit more sexy than usual here, perhaps this study was onto something.

I do think you can certainly dress sexy with the intention of inciting lust in your partner and still be dressing for yourself, as it is you who is enjoying that thrill. Just as you can dress to impress other fashionable women and still be dressing for your own creative outlet and imagination. It is different for every woman, but in answer to do women dress for women, men or themselves? I choose D, all of the above.

Lately I’ve been getting really close to the 8-year-old inside of me. She’s a fantastical person. I’ve been checking in with her daily while I’m going through tough spots, making sure she is okay.

It has been coming out in what I wear.

I thrifted this soft heather-gray skirt last week and it has become Little Rabbit’s favorite piece of clothing. A few reasons: 1.) It is sooo comfy and it is kind of an adventurer’s skirt as you can wear it in almost any weather or situation. (It also has a really great swishy effect, quite dramatic)  2.) It is perfect for her vast imagination. Around Little Rabbit’s age fantasy morphed from Princesses and glamour to strong but lost female heroines. These characters were often in hard situations: lost or on a journey.

The purple scarf also doubled as a cape. I switched it’s position all day by how I felt.

I chose a single wooden turquoise earring to wear. This earring actually has a lot of history and meaning for me. I stole the earrings from my Mother a few years ago…I had loved them during my childhood, I  remember pawing through her jewelry box and admiring them.

Sometimes it just feels good to have your outfit be a costume, to hide behind if you need to or to engage your imagination creating a fantasy or adventure in your day.