When I was working as an admin assistant and people asked what I did, I said that I was… an admin assistant. Now, as a freelance writer when people ask what I do, I get to tell them about my “true work”.  But, I could have told people about my writing when I was an assistant, too.

This week, Gala Darling interviewed me about my true work–being a freelance writer, editor and sex journalist. She asked a lot in depth questions and I offered tips about the industry and writing. But as I answered, I kept coming back to this idea of true work.

What do I mean when I say true work? It’s work that engages self, your true self–that wise part of you that feels alive and whole.  It’s where true work comes from.

When I was growing up I wanted to be many things: an artist, a clothing designer, a novelist. But the fantasy was always about creating something. When I am creatively producing, I feel challenged, I feel alive and centered. This is my true work.

But true work also comes from knowing what your core values are. (Hello old RW post about finding your values.) Because those values guide your work, give it a purpose. My true work might be being a writer, but it’s my values that led me to writing about sex, gender and relationships.

I work to shatter fears, stereotypes and defenses around sex (kinks included.) My goal is for the readers to become more accepting of sexuality and to get curious about the world around them. I cover things outside the norm but the idea isn’t to present a novel sex act in order to entertain or shock. The idea is to challenge the way we think about sex, intimacy and relationships. To incite thought on the topic of sex.

“True work” might sound as bad as “soul-mate” but the only similarity is: there’s  no such thing as one and only. There isn’t one perfect job, there are many. True work is any work that comes from self, that fosters staying in self.

When I was in that 9-5 and felt like I wasn’t contributing to any “true work” I was confused. I became obsessed with finding what I really wanted to do. I made a list of all of the careers I might like to have if money were no hurdle. I wrote down all of the career “titles” my inner child had.

I really believe that everything we do contributes to our “true work”. Whether it is a gig that sets us on our “true work” path, or corrects us to the right one. I didn’t take a single journalism class until age 20, but I had made my own ‘zines and even written a few essays for small websites. Even back then, I was writing about sex, gender and feminism. I didn’t consciously know my path, but now I see I was already on it.

But, looking back it seems kind of silly. I had this idea that I had to become—something. I had to find some title, some career. I didn’t think I could just be what I already was–a writer who writes about sex and gender and feminism and self work.

I think that there is room for everyone in the world to do their true work. And yes, the world still needs admin assistants. Doing your true work means making it work– finding a way to make ends meet and still do what makes you happy. As I told Gala, this is why I also take on copy writing.

But that is the beauty of true work. It doesn’t die. It’s not going to be taken away.

The permission to be a writer only comes from you. If you want it, you have to start doing it. Start a blog, write or edit something every day. When people ask what you do, don’t tell them about your day job, tell them about the rest of your time. Subscribe to the RSS feed of Craigslist’s freelance writing gigs, pitch to publications, network with editors on twitter. Most importantly, write. Get your 10,000 hours in.

1. If I am your interviewer and I ask “what is your true work?” how do you answer? 2. Write down do-able goals, movements you will make toward your true work. Re-visit this list and evaluate it from time to time. 3. Ask a close friend to describe your real work for you in writing. 4. What is your true work? Keep writing down answers to this question until you find one that moves you. 5. Remember, there is room for everyone to do their true work.

Read more about true work and becoming a freelance writer + tips about journalism on Gala’s post.