The Divorce Pill: Birth Control Effects Your Doctor Doesn’t Know

14thJul. × ’10

When Karen decided to go off the pill, her relationship wasn’t going well. She had a husband whose depression hung heavy. Karen began noticing a putrid smell, emanating from him. “I couldn’t stand to be close to him because he smelled so bad, it wasn’t what we call body odor, it smelled like a soured clothes…so naturally that is what I thought it was.”

But after digging through his laundry, she had a dizzying realization… the smell suffocating her space was her husband.

Karen could no longer muster a simple attraction. Warmth began to dissipate. A divorce ensued. Later, stumbling across research about pheromones and birth control, it clicked.

In Clause Wedekind’s study, women were given t-shirts that had been worn by men. They were asked to smell the shirts to report attraction. They found women were attracted to men with a different MHC level than their own, and repulsed by one too similar. The theory is this delicate difference of pheromones makes the healthiest offspring.

But, oddly women taking oral contraceptives lost this sense of attraction. Not only could she no longer sniff out her best match, she became actively attracted to men with a similar MHC level, closer to her own genes.

When Karen let a male friend vent about a recent break-up, it sounded familiar. “Had she recently gone off the pill?” She asked. When the answer was yes– she was convinced. “That is when I started calling it the divorce pill” Karen says.

Studies on MHC have gained popularity thanks to authors like Jena Pincott of, Do Gentleman Really Prefer Blondes “There is more interest in whether or not birth control is the right thing if you are in your twenties or thirties and haven’t found the right guy yet” Pincott says. She also states she is pro-birth control and doesn’t give specific advice on the pill, “I think what women need to bear in mind when hearing these studies is that effects are statistically significant, but they are generalities.”

But it wasn’t just Wedekind’s study that perked women’s senses. Pincott brings up the “famous lap-dance study” which found that strippers not on birth control made more than those who were on the pill–which suppresses ovulation.  Further, Pincott points out “men tipped women who were ovulating significantly more than they did the same women when they weren’t.  It might be behavioral, the way we look or smell.”

Or it could be the beauty-phenomenon of ovulation. “During ovulation we think we are prettier and independent observers find that we do look more attractive; our faces more symmetrical, lips plumper” Pincott says. This was explained by a study where men rated photos of women with and without make-up. The men consistently rated the women with make-up as more beautiful, except when the women were ovulating. Then the men rated them as the same.

But if you were to ask your OB-GYN about this you’d probably be met with a blank stare. Dr. Duana Welch, a social-psychology professor and blogger explains “Medical doctors are looking only at your physiology, not your psychology.” She advises that women be an advocate for themselves when considering birth control.

I spoke to several medical doctors and none were familiar with the research. Dr. Vanessa Cullins, VP for Planned Parenthoood said in a phone interview: “Ovulation is only important is if you want to become pregnant, in fact not ovulating protects you against ovarian cancer.” On the other end of the speculum, Beth Battaglino-Cahill the executive VP for the National Women’s Health Resource Center finds some value in ovulation: “It is important to know your own cycle.”

Welch and Pincott assert that ovulation has it’s benefits “I do not take an anti-pill stance, but I think birth control changes women psychologically.” She warns, women who have an MHC similar to their partner’s have a very high affair rate, as was found by a study from The University of New Mexico. “ We tend to focus on the more physical changes such as weight gain, but it makes us prefer men who match a genetic profile more like that of our father or brother.”

But nixing birth control is clearly not smart advice. Paranoid singles could sign up for GenePartner or ScientificMatch which pair couples by genetic compatibility. Or take Dr. Welch’s advice, make the date and when you say hello“lean in close and slowly inhale.” As of now, there are only two doctor recommended non-hormonal choices: A non-hormonal IUD or condoms.

The take-away for Dr. Mark Hathaway of the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals is more uneasy. “The fact that we divide birth control into hormonal and non hormonal is not helpful, we should help women find methods that are best for them.”

The advent of the pill and hormonal birth control was revolutionary, without a doubt one of the greatest things to happen in the last century. Our birth control options are still evolving and unfortunately, we don’t have a male birth control pill to rely on the guys. We also can’t rely on them to smell our MHC’s. They can’t. The ability to smell your soul-mate is purely a female phenomenon.

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18 Comments

  1. Posted 2010-07-14 at 09:52 | Permalink

    Whoaaa… so much interesting biological background for the pill. I’m never going on the pill myself, but yeah, glad I met my man when I wasn’t on it! Haha. Although this makes me wonder if we’re a genetic match in other ways ..? XD

  2. Posted 2010-07-14 at 09:59 | Permalink

    Sui,
    I made the decision to go on a non-hormonal IUD which doctors kept trying to talk me out of. And honestly, I can tell a difference. I don’t cry as easily. I still feel like I get a little manic and crazy with the ebb and flow of my cycle, but when I was on b.c. I had a big cry once a week, now it is much more rare.

    I can also tell when I am ovulating, like holy hell can I tell!

    Over-all I like having the natural balance of estrogen and testosterone in my body. I also lost a bit of weight (mostly in my breasts and hips) but that could also be diet-related.

    Do you just use condoms? I feel irritated by condoms, we tried them but just ended up never having penetrative sex.

    I still stand by the advice that the right kind of birth control is the one that works for you, that you can take effectively and feel good about. And for me, the IUD is great.

  3. Posted 2010-07-14 at 15:01 | Permalink

    This is so fascinating! I’ve contemplating getting off of birth control for physical reasons, but haven’t ever thought about psychological reasons. Like Sui, I am so grateful that I met Jonathan before I got on BC.

  4. Posted 2010-07-14 at 15:41 | Permalink

    Ev’Yan,

    I met Ned off the pill too :D When I went off birth control, I noticed once when we were kissing that I was breathing in, and there was something like a smell, that was so sweet. It was what kept me going back to kiss him.

    I can remember, my first bf I thought was very smelly in the beginning. But, then I went on b.c. and I don’t remember if I thought it went away.

    I also remember being grossed out by the cave of dirty laundry and teenage boy sweat that were my cousin’s bedrooms.

    The evolutionary psychology theory for all of this (which I didn’t go into in the article) is the incest taboo. That women come with this built in censor that men just don’t have (their censor is to spread seeed) we have this so that doesn’t happen.

    Also, it’s thought that maybe the reason we become attracted to MHC similar men is because birth control makes the body think it is pregnant, and historically this is a vulnerable time when we would be closer with family.

    I could tall about this stuff all day!

  5. Minerrva
    Posted 2010-07-14 at 15:42 | Permalink

    Hey, I’ve been lurking for a bit reading your awesome posts, and I just had to chime in on this one. I have always been suspicious of birth control pills, since something that messed that drastically with my hormonal make-up put me off. I mean, never having to have periods? Fooling your body into thinking it’s pregnant all the time? I need to double-check, but that is what I remember birth control pills essentially do.

    So I am 32 and have never been on the Pill. Never gotten pregnant accidentally (never tried, either). I have used condoms when dating around, ovulation timing method and the diaphragm (and yes, sometimes just pulling out) in long-term monogamous relationships. Some of the friends I told that I use a diaphragm were not even aware it is still an option, thinking it an antiquated and outdated tool.

    I am interested in the non-hormonal IUD that you use–what is the brand name? I might look into that.

    I find these findings about smell and hormones very interesting. Of course I don’t know what happens at the hormonal level, but smell has always been a VERY important part of attraction for me. I do lean in and smell dates (unobtrusively!) whenever I can.

  6. Posted 2010-07-14 at 15:49 | Permalink

    Minerrva,

    I use the Paragard, which is an updated version of the Copper T. It stays in up to 10 years, so much cheaper than any other form of b.c., except rhythm of course.

    I am glad you mentioned these other types of birth control. When I talked to doctors they weren’t “recommended” but I totally think they are worth looking into.

    And I totally agree that smell, even on a conscious level is super powerful!

  7. Minerrva
    Posted 2010-07-14 at 15:53 | Permalink

    Oh, and since I’ve broken the dam on commenting, let me mention this theory I have about mouth kissing too: have any studies found that one of the ‘evolutionary reasons’ for kissing on the mouth might be that it gives partners an extended chance to smell one another?? Think about it: our mouths are occupied so we can’t can’t mouth-breathe, our noses are in close proximity to one another. What are you gonna do but breathe one another in? Whaddya think?

  8. Posted 2010-07-14 at 15:56 | Permalink

    Minerrva,
    OMG I have read studies on that exact phenomenon! According to the ev psych I read, we kiss in order to assess if one and other are healthy. And also, men kiss women deeper in order to gauge if we are ovulating and therefore able to get pregnant!

  9. Posted 2010-07-14 at 18:27 | Permalink

    I’ve always been interested in this and I wondered if anyone has any idea: I don’t actually have a sense of smell. I can’t smell men. Does this mean I pick guys based on something else or do they still give off good “vibes” to me without the smell? I’ve always been sort of worried in the far back of my mind that I’m going to pick guys that are awful for me just because I can’t smell :P

  10. Posted 2010-07-16 at 11:18 | Permalink

    I wonder how the scent thing affects me, since I’ve always felt like I’ve had a very weak sense of smell.

    I’ve actually heard that some people gain weight on certain types of birth control. I know some of my friends only have periods four times a year, that their periods are suppressed by birth control. And personally I already have kind of an aversion to pills, and something that would affect my body that drastically is personally not for me.

    Yup, condoms!

  11. Rob
    Posted 2010-07-19 at 15:11 | Permalink

    I am so glad you wrote this! I have been having major issues lately psycholigically. I just haven’t been feeling as attracted as I once did, and I’m in and out of anxiety and depression. My mate keeps saying “did this start when you started taking your birth control?” I kept shooing this thought away, thinking this just couldn’t be possible. Now I’m wondering if this has been the root of my problem all along. I’m thinking of getting off this birth control as soon as possible now and going back to condoms.

  12. Taylor
    Posted 2010-07-25 at 18:24 | Permalink

    So what if you meet someone on the Pill? Does that mean you should stay on it forever (or as long as you’re with that person)? I was curious about the pill/scent effects because I’ve been off my birth control for a few weeks and have been feeling less attracted to my partner, and that “soured clothes” smell is exactly what I’m experiencing.

    This is all fascinating to me, but scary at the same time.

  13. Posted 2010-07-25 at 18:30 | Permalink

    Taylor,
    This was one of my questions for Duana Welch, she said that yes, women who met on the pill should only go off during pregnancy and always just stay on the pill.

  14. Kristina
    Posted 2010-07-26 at 17:54 | Permalink

    I think that some of the studies cited above are useless and unreliable due to the confirmation bias and multiple other (lesser) biases. Being an avid reader of this blog, evolutionary theory confuses me: the second law of thermodynamics is inconsistent with evolving.

  15. Posted 2010-07-26 at 19:51 | Permalink

    Kristina,
    I wrote this piece for a separate publication and had a sharp editor who wanted all of the facts. I’ve not come across any controversy of confirmation bias in Clause’s studies which I looked at carefully, or the supporting studies (which are less examined.) I can, however tell you that there has been some controversy with Clause’s study. One study reversed the findings, but all subsequent studies have found Clause’s findings correct. Thanks for reading.

  16. Posted 2010-08-3 at 17:25 | Permalink

    Hi, This is an excellent article.

    Rob, this might shed light on some ‘stuff’:

    Just from a guys point of view. My wife and I have two kids, and I have to say, the time when she was on birth control (pill) was the time when there was the least sex. It was weird, but, based on what you have written in the article, it sounds like, the pill was having an adverse effect on our attraction to each other.

    When my wife is ovulating, and most of the time I didn’t think I could tell unless looking on the calendar to see what she had marked down, I have found myself very attracted to her and just want too ‘jump’ her whenever I can. It is as if, without knowing it, I sensed that she was ‘ripe’ sort of. She is very intoxicating when it is that time of month. I guess this is just physiology from a guys perspective.

    But, bottom line is, I think the pill, hormonal birth control that is, had a detrimental impact on the level of attraction we had for each other. It seemed to take away the spark from our sexuality towards each other.

    Excellent article RabbitWrite.

  17. Shad0cat
    Posted 2011-02-20 at 23:16 | Permalink

    I’ve seen this study floating around the internet quite a bit and I see alot of problems with it. The first thing I see when I read this page is that Karen’s relationship was already in a bad place before she came off the pill. That’s a HUGE factor when you’re considering wether or not a pill is cause for a divorce. It’s apparent from the study that the pill messes with a woman’s ability to smell correctly but it never says to what degree. Preference is preferring one thing over another, It doesn’t mean that the less prefred thing is outright despised or appalling it just means you like something else more. I prefer Pepsi to Coke every time, but if the resteraunt Im at only serves Coke I’ll drink it just as happily. There are alot of common medications on the market that will alter a person’s sense of smell that aren’t birth control. My mother’s on several that are pain meds that alter her sense of smell so her food tastes funny. The idea that the pill tricks our bodies into thinking they are pregnant so we seek the protection and safety of our kin. First off, The pill doesn’t make your body think it’s pregnant. It make’s your body think it already ovulated so it won’t ovulate again. As anyone on most BC products know we still menstrate when we get to the brown pills at the end of the cycle. It’s a huge red flag to me that the conductors of this study don’t know how birth control pills work. So let’s think about this for a moment. If they had been right and the pill worked the way they said it did and made us think we were pregnant how many women do any of you know pack up and leave their mate to live with their families for the 9 months they are pregnant? I’ve never seen it happen. Most studies show that during pregnancy it’s very important for the father to be around the mother during that time because it reinforces his protective instincts towards the mother of his child. Once again, hypothetically speaking, if they were correct that the purpose of seeking a similar mhc were for the comfort or safety of family support, this should more likely cause a woman to want to go have gossip and icecreame with her best guypal/mayor of friendsville and not suddenly want to have sex with him or any of her similar mhc family members. I don’t know of anyone who ever got pregnant and suddenly wanted to take up incest.
    In closing, I want to mention that along with other articles I’ve read on the topic, the reasearchers have added that attraction is not as simple as smell alone and some have said that how a woman feels about a man also colors her perception of how he smells. I’ve also heard it said that it’s near impossible for someone to be repelled by the scent of someone they fell in love with over the internet where no smell was involved in the attraction. This being said, going back to the very first line of the article. Karen’s relationship was already going wrong before she came off the pill. When the pill changed his scent there may not have been enough attaction based on anything left to allow her to adjust to the new smell. Smell aside that relationship would probably have ended in a breakup/divorce even if she’d stayed on the pill.

    Just food for thought.

  18. Desiree
    Posted 2011-04-23 at 20:31 | Permalink

    well, what about the women who are put on birth control for medical reasons other than contraception? I’m currently on my way to being tested for PCOS, and I have to take birth control to simply balance out my level of estrogen with my level of testosterone. what am I supposed to do? simply accept that i’m going to pick out the wrong guy for a mate?

6 Trackbacks

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by rabbitwhite, Lara. Lara said: glad I met the bf when I wasn't on the pill… interesting: http://tinyurl.com/262sfxd [...]

  2. [...] This post by Rabbit Write made me really stop & think about the psychological effects of birth control. It also left me relieved that I met Jonathan before I started BC, which explains why I find his smell so utterly intoxicating. [...]

  3. [...] This isn’t to say that I’m anti-Pill. It was a huge leap forward for sexual liberation, especially for women, and if it works for you, then you should go for it! But there are some genuinely weird effects to watch out for, as highlighted in Rabbit Write’s recent post The Divorce Pill: [...]

  4. By The Birth Control Divorce Pill « on 2010-08-27 at 05:10

    [...] here, but some women have taken to renaming this popular form of birth control. The new moniker: The Divorce Pill. Some women have found that upon stopping the daily pill, they suddenly find themselves no longer [...]

  5. [...] like if you weren’t on the pill. This is why it has been named the divorce pill by some (The Divorce Pill). Though there is strong evidence that the birth control pill causes women to be less attracted to [...]

  6. [...] The Divorce Pill: Birth Control Effects Your Doctor Doesn’t Know.  Yikes. [...]