You know you are watching a commercial for tampons when the soft lighting blurs to reveal some complacent looking woman, joyfully kicking her white-spandex-coated legs.

Recently, Kotex came out with an ad that cramps this usual style. “The ads on TV are really helpful, because they show that blue liquid” says the woman on screen, deadpan, as something that looks like laundry detergent spills into a pad. “And I’m like ‘Oh, that’s what’s supposed to happen.”

It takes some ovaries to pull-off and Kotex even pushed to get the word “vagina” used in the ad, which was never gonna happen on American television. It’s not a bad start, but with Kotex being a repeat offender of the very advertising they are mocking, this could also be chalked up as too little, too late.

With this in mind I set out to rifle through vintage menstrual product ads for an article for Alternet. The goal was to find the most eye-roll inducing ads but what I also found along the way was downright weird and at times, a  lack of basic understanding about periods.

Check out my full article on Alternet, but here are some of the highlights from my research:

This was an early Modess ad campaign from 1929. It “spoke” to teenagers by poking fun at Mother and her laughable old ways and silly washable pads. However there seems to be something lost in translation. I think Daughter is teaching Mother to exercise…in heels? It kinda looks more like she is teaching Mother some new fangled sex position. But this Tampax ad from the 90s which ran in teen mags is a bit, ehm, creepier.

What is with all the dark shadows and shameful hands-in-pockets face-down stuff? And what is that in front of her? Garbage bags? A small child? A ghost? The ad reads “I wanted to use tampons but I heard you had to be, you know, ‘experienced.’”

Then there’s those ubiquitous white- ads, because wearing white on your period is so natural and freeing! Or something. Well, maybe not– is it just me or is this woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown?

She should have taken a cue from this French woman and downed some Valium before the photo-shoot

The European ads were the craziest, lots of nudity and sexual situations. Is that a step up? I’m not sure. But, in Europe it seems people are much more comfortable about menstruation. There was even a Dutch ad series I found with that featured men, talking about periods.

Translates as: “Unbelievable . . .so thin, now I get why I don’t see anything.”

Wait, is that a penis joke?

Back in the day, marketers had a hard time getting women to switch from DIY pads to disposable products. The problem was that even with names like Modess and Kotex those sneaky drug store clerks caught onto what women were buying.  Aware of  embarrassment impacting sales, companies started issuing “silent purchase coupons.” These coupons didn’t save you any money, just the apparent shame that came with uttering “feminine napkin” aloud. To be fair, it is an icky juxtaposition of words. This whole ordeal was fixed when one drug store started leaving the boxes out on the counter with a change jar, so women could take what they needed and pay discreetly.

But as a devout menstrual-cup user, what I found interesting was the failed history of the cup. Since the 1930′s several companies had tried mass-selling cups and until semi-recently all had failed. It was thought that American women were turned off by the idea of having to put their fingers into the vagina to change the cup. There was no having of the all-around closeness and knowledge of your cycle that comes with using a cup.

I spoke with Harry Finlay of the Museum of Menstruation (also where I got the images) for this piece. He reminded me that advertising never changes people’s minds but, rather reflects where we are as as a society.

If the new Kotex ad is any indication that we as American women are sick of being shamed about our periods or having them likened to gifts or something that happens “down there”  it might be enough for me to break out the white yoga pants and jump for joy.