Photos by Edmund X White

I am surrounded by male energy. To be clear, I am surrounded by hot guys, lubed up in rubber. It’s the 14th annual Mr. International Rubber, a skin-tight fetish event in Chicago that brings rubber-boys from all over the world. And while there’s a lot to take in, there was also a lot to learn. Here are some tidbits. For full coverage and more photos see my Sexis article.

Honor those who paved the way; but reinvention and progression is key.

Upstairs, thick with the smell of rubber, is the market. There are toys and outfits to buy, but like everyone else, I’m more interested in ogling boys than a new buttplug. There are boys in rubber wrestling singlets, mohawked rubber punk boys and skin-boys with rubber braces.

Perhaps the most re-current theme is the military look. It’s a nod to the leather community which came out of World War II. According to leather lore, during WWII some soldiers realized they were gay and started exploring their sexuality. After coming home, they missed the “manly culture” of the military and the sexual bonds they formed. So they began to re-create it in social groups and in bars.  But rubber is definitely the new guard, a term that usually denotes less rigidity and a greater variety of sexual experiences.

Male Sexuality is Beautiful

I’m here as a journalist, and “covering” kink is intense. It is being put in a sexual situation when you are non-sexual. It’s being introduced to a new world all at once.  But it’s not long before I feel comfortable here, basking in male sexuality that is totally not directed at me. I think I finally getting the draw to being a “fag hag”– or “fairy princess”. I get to gawk and join in the lust without fear of being pulled in or anxiety of  protecting myself.  In the view from here, human sexuality is a celebration and male sexuality is  valid and uniquely cool.

Sex is silly

But just as I am getting comfortable being the only one without assless pants or a penis, it’s time for the puppy event. This is a fetish about pretending to be dogs with doggy mannerisms and behavior. Puppy-play is not distinctly related to rubber, but as one rubberman told me, puppies have become quite popular, popping up at many fetish conventions.

On the ground in front of me are guys on all fours– in over-sized plastic puppy paws. There are puppy masks and a butt plug tail. “This is completely different than I thought it would be” I motion to the guy beside me. “I thought it was going to be a more BDSM thing, like the puppy and his master. But this is puppies playing together and just having fun”

Two of the puppies fight over a chew toy. Another comes up to sniff their rubber behinds. They communicate only through grunts, growls and barks. My new friend nods.“Yeah, BDSM is how it started, like, you are my dog so lick my boots. But this is new.”–he points at the puppies mounding one and other-  “It happened just the last few years. It really came out of the furry community, and the way they sort of play. But you can’t suggest that to these guys, they’d deny it.”

The puppies remind me of little boys playing.  “It’s just about not taking yourself too seriously, being able to be silly. You need that in sex” says my friend.

Maybe your partner likes you just the way you are

Later in the evening, the lights are tinted red and the men are mingling. As I talk with the guys about sex, the word “pig” comes up. “So pig means dirty, right? Like into really dirty sex?” My new friend corrects me. “A pig is someone who likes dirty, stinky, sweaty, nasty sex. And more of it and more and more and more.”

I don’t know how many times I’ve read advice columns where girls write in, worried about their smell or unable to enjoy sex because they are self conscious. Perhaps it’s because girls are taught to please everyone else, putting themselves last, but there just seems to be something in female sexuality that is uncomfortable with receiving pleasure. Look at all the women’s mags, obsessed with “how to please a man”.

But maybe the “pig” concept could lessen fears around receiving pleasure. What if your partner liked you sweaty, smelly, just  the way you are right now? And just wanted more and more and more of that?

Sexuality is part of something larger

Settling in the auditorium to crown the new Mr. International Rubber, alongside the guys swilling beers with arms draped over one and other, I feel awed. I’m inspired by these guys who come from all over the world to visit their friends, to have sex, to be a part of a community that values order and respect and encourages fun. Sex is a huge human experience, it should be celebrated and explored as a part of life, as a part of something larger than your own bedroom. I’m a little jealous that these guys have such a strong place to belong because community is important, even when it comes to sex.